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Wednesday
Jul282010

Just Love

My plan for today’s post was to tell you all about my visit to the Endo yesterday. That post is going to have to wait.

Something is heavy on my heart right now and I want to write about it.

On my way to the doctors yesterday I noticed a police car parked sideways on the other side of the Freeway. He has his lights on and had all of the South bound traffic at a stop right before an overpass. As I got a little closer I also noticed that there were several police cars on the overpass stopped with their lights on, and then I saw him.

A man with a full head of gray hair standing on the outside of the overpass fence, holding on with one hand over his shoulder waiting to jump.

It was only for a second when I saw him but I could see in his eyes that he was not sure this was the answer. He had a look of total defeat and I guess you would have to be in that state to be where he was.

As I drove pass I started to think about giving up and how many times I have contemplated ending it all. There was a time after my dad died that I really felt like living was too much for me and that I was done. Heck I tried too much insulin once but as soon as I started to get low I decided to treat for it knowing it was not right. Suicide is never the answer.

Remembering back to a very close member of my family that killed himself and how it effected the people I love made it clear for me that nothing is worse then losing someone to suicide. The emotional rollercoaster you are left with is almost too much to bear.

You feel confused. “Why would they do such a thing?”

You feel guilty. “Why didn’t I notice they were hurting?”

You feel angry. “How could they be so selfish?”

You feel depressed. “Why wasn’t I enough of a reason to stay?”

You feel sad. “I miss him so much.”

I thought about this man and what he must be going through and all the people that love him and would do anything to help him. I thought about the millions of people who have it worse than he does and how could anyone, in this great country, give up hope? That is what we are all about, overcoming obstacles and having faith that we can do anything.

And then I remembered something my father always told me. He would say, “Son, what is a pebble to you could be a boulder to someone else.”

We cannot assume we completely understand someone’s feelings or know exactly what they are going through. There is no way to do that. All we can do is empathize, love, support, and show those we love that we will be there for them no matter what.

We have the power to love and hopefully that will save the people in our life from ever ending up where this man on the overpass was. I don’t know what happened and frankly I think I am just going to assume he got the care he needed and is now on the road to finding some peace in his life.

So when you are thinking about this post and about loving those people in your life, don’t forget to love yourself.

If you don’t do that, you cannot truly receive the love those around you are offering.

Just love.

Reader Comments (11)

Wow... So incredibly moving. Thanks for this, George. I too hope that man on the overpass received what he needed - having faith in that gives me a little boost inside, too. You are so appreciated and cherished, irreplaceable, and I'm glad to have the honor of reading your insights. Thank you.

July 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMichael Hoskins

Oh George. I know this was hard to write. Loss of a loved one by suicide is hard. I haven't experienced it, but almost. My mom attempted but was stopped before it was too late. And even though she's still here, those questions are still the same. The pain and guilt that is felt is horrible.
Your father's words are very true. Be a boulder for someone. Love them and let them know you are there for them. You never know how much it could mean to them.
Love you, bro!

July 28, 2010 | Registered CommenterSarah

Absolutely lovely post, George. "Just love" is a life bumper sticker I'd like to paste on my forehead.

xoxo to you, my friend.

July 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKerri.

That's one of the reasons I'm so glad for the D-OC. On days when I think I can't go anymore, I know I have my family, and the D-OC. Constants in my life that have helped me so much.
I think sometimes we get so wrapped up in our own lives and troubles that we forget that others may be going through something so much more difficult than we are.

July 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCara

beautiful... just beautiful... and so important. thank you, george

July 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBethany

Awesome post - thank you for posting it. Loss of someone close to you in that way is always hard and the guilt and feelings that come from it never really go away, unfortunately.

I'm like you and hoping he got the care he needed and deserved.

Thank you for sharing.

July 28, 2010 | Registered CommenterAngie

Sometimes I end up questioning my existence in the is this as good as it gets kinda way, am sure loosing a loved one to suicide is not only sad but it always leaves those close with questions of what they coulda done different to prevent it. Taking your own life is never the answer not only for the finality of it but it affects everyone around us.
Thanks George for spotlighting this for us.
Just Love and Let Live

July 28, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterthe poor diabetic

I'm glad you posted this George. We often forget about the simple things such as expressing our love for one another.

I love you brother!

July 28, 2010 | Registered CommenterScott K. Johnson

As someone who has been there and tried that not so many moons ago, your words mean a lot. It really is as simple as love. Thanks for this.

July 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJillian

Absolutely awesome, thought-provoking and touching post, SuperG. Thank you.

August 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJB

Thank you George, sniff!

August 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBernard Farrell

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