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Thursday
Mar072013

Sort of Weighing In

By now you have probably heard about the drama around the DOC regarding a diabetes "cure" and the DRI and a blog post and expectations, anger, disappointment, and frustations.

I am sure also you have formed your opinion about it all and have probably seen many other opinions about it.

No one is asking me what I think and frankly I don't think it really matters but I do have one thing I want to say that kind of ties in.

I spend way too much money, energy, time, emotions, and brain power just living with diabetes every single day of my life. EVERY SINGLE DAY. You all know all the struggles and issues that come along with it and it is never easy.

Although I may not always be optomistic I am an avid dreamer. I always dream about the future and what it will bring. Where will I be and what will I do years from now? Will I ever reach my dreams and do what I really want to with my life? I dream about my future but I don't hope for it. I save my hope.

I save my hope for every morning. I save my hope for getting through a scary low or nagivating highs without ending up in DKA. I save it for bolusing correctly and setting temporary basal rates for exercise.

My hope is for now and five minutes from now. That I am going to get through this every day. I hope I can.

My daily need for hope leads me to not spend too much of it on something 5-10 years away. I need my hope now. My future is a lot closer than potential cures and I have to save my hope for that.

Never would I blame anyone for hoping and it hurts me to know so many were hurt. For that I am so sorry and very sad.

Never would I blame someone for wanting to get people excited about a hope. When I hear of a good thing I always want to share it with the world!

The one thing that really REALLY bothered me was the feeling that if I (Me, George Simmons) did not send money this hope that everyone had would fizzle. And now it's my fault.

I always tell people to blame diabetes and not themselves for complications, high bg's, or anything else that frustrates us about diabetes. We do the best we can every day and we should not be blamed for our best not being enough. 

Hearing about new things in the future allows me to dream, not hope. My only hope is that the DRI would redo that video to cut out the "It depends on you" message at the end. 

If it was up to me I would never ask the people who are suffering from a disease for the money to find a cure for themselves. I'd tell them how I was going to do whatever it took to find the money somewhere and maybe see if they want to help. But to lay the burden on the ones WITH ALL THE BURDENS seems mean.

I hope that makes some sense and I hope I haven't disrupted your hope. 

 

Reader Comments (9)

Great insight George! I loved your take on this. I'm posting my thoughts in a little bit on my site, but loved your thoughts on this too. It's been interesting to see how everyone has responded.

March 7, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterTraci

I never before thought of separating the ideas of "hope" and "dream" like that. This is a very good way of putting it.

March 7, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterScott E

I totally agree with you. I am the mom of a T1D and it is super hard on him and the whole family. We often say "our" diabetes even though he is the one with it, because we support him, we help him, we learned and educate him, and everyone else.
I hate it when the different Diabetes groups make us feel bad when we can't afford to donate money to them.. We've done the walk or the gala or the "this" and the "that" but really Diabetes is expensive. Please don't make us feel bad when we are holding on for dear life here. Hope is all we have left and making us feel like this is all our fault if we don't donate ( again) is crappy. Why don't they advertise to other people?" Why do I feel like I have to be the one to inform other people or non D people.. and I can't say how many "cures" in stage one or two I have seen fall to the floor. It gets to be to the point of I don't want to know too much cause i don't want to get my hopes up ( again) and am too broke for buying this months pump supplies strips insulin juices ect ect ect..

Thank you for your blog..

March 7, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterR.Miller

::clap:: ::clap:: ::whistle using two fingers in my mouth::
"My hope is for now..." Love it. Love you.

March 7, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterChristel

Well said!

March 7, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterKari Winder

"My hope is for now and five minutes from now. That I am going to get through this every day. I hope I can."

Brilliant.

March 7, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterBennet

I LOVE & agree with this post - And the same goes for you!
Xoxo

March 7, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterk2

The "blame diabetes, not yourself" concept is frigging crucial. I think so many of us forget that ... myself included. Guilt ebbs and flows. Great post, G.

March 10, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterKerri.

Best post written about the DRI drama. I didn't get upset. I wasn't bothered. I appreciated the enthusiasm before the announcement and the enthusiasm of the announcement. Like you the "send money now" kinda got me down but we aren't going to FIND a cure - we will FUND a cure. I give money to many organizations when I can and I don't ever let myself be guilted into it.
I was never promised a cure at either of my kids diagnosis. I didn't hear the 5/10 year thing until I heard people make jokes about it. Maybe that is why I shrugged my shoulders over it. I didn't feel like I got slapped.
I have Hope for a cure. But much of my daily hope is tied up in things like:
I hope my kids numbers are good.
I hope my kids don't feel different.
I hope my kids stay level all night.
I hope my kids can attend D camp.
Etc.
Again - great post. Sorry getting here late. Catching up on blogs, avoiding laundry, waiting on dishwasher to be delivered. Blah Blah blah.
Cheers - George.

March 20, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterchristina @momof2t1s

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