Often times I feel compelled to post about a subject that has already been covered by the OC. But sometimes when you have your own personal experience, your story may touch someone differently or click with someone else.
Here is my story.
If you read this blog then you know that I have not known any Type 1’s in my life until recently (that included the OC). The two I have met are both children and are newly diagnosed. The connection I have with them is mostly with their parents as a guide or a sounding board for their concerns. All and all I feel as though I am helping my fellow D-lifers but how sweet would it be to meet like a 20-30 something Type 1? I know many online but none I can “hang out” or go out to dinner with. That would be cool.
Then I hear that a business associate that I talk too all the time is a Type 1! A salesperson came into my office, asked about Master P and after I told them that I am a type 1 they said, “Oh you have Juvenile Die a beat us, so does Karen!”
Woah! I talk to Karen all the time and she is so freaking cool. We have met several times and I know she is getting married. Wow, another 30 something couple that we could get to know! That would be cool. I wonder when she was diagnosed. Does she use a pump and if so, which one? What kind of Glucose Tabs does she use? What’s her A1C? Does she have diabetic shoes? What does her fiancé know about the D? Will she wear the “BE FRI” side of the little half heart necklace or the “ST ENDS?”
I was out of control (or “double O C” which is about as long to type but more fun to say!)
The next day I had a reason to call. I needed to check on a sample order I had emailed her about so I gave her a call.
“Hey Karen, what is happening?”
“Not much dude, how are you?” she replied.
“Good as always. So, Rick was in here the other day and was asking me about my Insulin Pump and he told me that you were a Type 1 too. I didn’t know that.”
“Yeah, I was diagnosed when I was a kid. How old were you when you were diagnosed?”
We chatted for a long time. We shared diagnosis stories. How our significant others deal with it. How much insurance sucks. I even got a plug in about the OC. It was going really well.
“So do you or have you ever gone to a support group or anything like that? I am trying to find one but I can only find Type 2 groups and I feel like I need to hear from other Type 1’s.”
“Nah, that is nothing I am really interested in. I mean, we all know what to do and how to take care of ourselves. Why would I sit around and cry about it with a bunch of other people that ignore what they already know just to have a massive cry fest? That is so pointless. We know what to do so we should just do it, ya know?”
I was not sure how to respond. I was honestly shocked. Was she trying to be helpful? It seemed so cold and honestly made me feel like a completely idiot.
One thing I did figure out is that this is not the kind of person that I could connect with. Not that she is wrong or a bad person or anything like that. I just knew that we could not be friends. I am too connected to emotions and how they effect people to be
“I guess that’s true but man is it hard.” I replied in an unsure voice. “So I need to get a tracking number on that Sample request I sent you the other day.”
I got the info and I never spoke about diabetes again with her.
I respect the fact that some people are open about their diabetes and some are not. I understand that we all deal with things differently and I respect that too. It felt like she did not respect anyone who struggles. She did not understand how anyone could stumble. She could not comprehend why I would need support.
Did I find Wonder Woman?
Well, one thing is for sure...
"I still haven’t found what I’m looking for."