Yesterday I got a raise and a bonus.
And I am bummed.
WTF is wrong with me? My company loves me and gives me a very generous increase in salary and a very VERY sweet bonus for my past years efforts. My boss had very nice things to say to me and he was concerned about my health and even offered to change my hours if it would allow for exercise time in my life. He has seen me increase in girth but also quit smoking and he is very supportive. I am so lucky to work as such a great place.
But I am pissed off.
My bonus is not a bonus at all. It is only going to go to bill collectors that keep calling my house all hours of the day. We are in such a deep dark financial hole that this “bonus” money is only going to help us get out of that hole.
I guess that is a good thing and at times I see that it is BUT it is upsetting when your best efforts and extra work only gets you out of a hole. There is no reward which is what a bonus should be. I remember about this time last year I thought, “If I kick butt this year and get a sweet bones I am gonna hook up a CMGS and be a total BG Ninja!” but that is not going to happen.
I know I should count my blessings and especially after such a spiritual weekend but this goes to show you that I am not perfect. I am upset because I cannot splurge for once in my life when I should be able to. Well, I better get to kicking butt this year and see what next year has in store for me.
I need a Pop-tart or something to cheer me up.