Change Happens, Courage Reacts

This morning I had my second visit to my endo. I got to the appointment 15 minutes early just like momma taught me. When I stepped into the waiting room, I noticed only 2 seats available. This place was packed so I knew I should take the seat next to the table with all of the random magazines on it instead of the one between the nice older couple and the lady holding a screaming child.

I sat down and started thumbing through a Hospital Magazine about Diabetes and stuff happening at the hospital. I rarely read a magazine from cover to cover so I just flipped through until I find something interesting.

The problem was, I was not in the right place to read. I really wanted to know what my blood test results were and what, if any, were the next steps towards getting my pump. I could not even consider the article in the Golf Magazine (I do not Golf but now you can see how long I sat in there) about how to have the absolute perfect drive.

After trying to interpret a brochure written entirely in spanish (I don't speak spanish at all, see above comment about the Golf mag) I heard an elderly couple talking. I decided to leave my literature cocoon and see what was happening in the ole Endo Patient Holding Tank.

"I am writing a poem honey and I need your help on one line." She was probably in her mid 70's as was her husband and they were about the cutest couple I had seen in a long time. "Tell me what you have," the husband replied. "I am stuck between Change Happens, Courage Reacts or Change Happens, Courage Surfaces." He looked around. Closed his eyes. "Definately go with 'reacts'." She agreed with him and continued to write out the rest of her poem.

I let those words sink in. Change Happens, Courage reacts. So simple. So true, at least most of the time. I wonder if her next line had anything to do with when Courage do not react. What about when Fear cripples you? I used to let that happen all the time. I like to think I am finding more and more of my courage each day. God knows it is a continuous struggle for me.

GEORGE SIMONS! (The always say Simons when it is really Simmons). I spring up from my seat, send a smile towards the elderly couple that I could not get out of my mind all day and also send a grin at the lady holding the still screaming child. Ah, I remember those days.

I got in the room after a tragic episode on the scale. Maybe my wallet gained 2 pounds, who knows. My blood pressure was good and soon after the nurse left the doctor came in. He broke out my lab results and said, "Everything looks good. Your fasting blood sugar was 101, and your kidneys, liver, and cholesterol all are in normal range." SAHWEET "Also, you are without a doubt a Type 1 so we are on the road to get you your pump, you are a definate candidate."

I hear a drumroll in the distance. "What is my A1C?" I think to myself. The camera moves in closer on my face as you hear the drums fade away and only hear my heartbeat...

"Oh no, you are going to have to go back to the lab. They made a mistake on your A1C test. Apparently the person who took your blood marked it incorrectly and they had to cancel it."

No F-ing Way! I have been so curious about my A1C ever since I went to the lab. I cannot stand this! I am going nuts now. Anyhow, I will be at the lab tomorrow morning at 6:30AM to give more blood although I am going to a different one in hopes of not having another mistake.

In retrospect, it was a good visit. I got to hear that my kidneys, liver, and my cholesterol is good and that is a concern of mine of course. I was able to see the paperwork all filled out and ready to go to my insurance for my insulin pump and most importantly I heard a morsel of a poem that sparked a dialog in my head that still rages on.

"Change Happens, Courage Reacts. "

I love that.

Things are good.

• I went on a turn around trip to Laughlin last night with my best friend who is getting married next week.
• My wife, sisters, and Mom all participated in the Revlon Run/Walk for Women's Cancers today to help raise money for a cure.
• Tomorrow I get to see the cool stuff that my kids made for the most special mom in the world!
• I get to remember how thankful I am for my mother and the fact that she was able to beat cancer and could walk to help find a cure.
• I get to tell my mom the above.

Things are pretty good.

I Gave At The Office

On Monday I had the pleasure of getting an impacted wisdom tooth pulled. OUCH! I was in so much pain that on Tuesday I ended up staying home from work in a Vicodin induced coma. It was both wonderful and awful at the same time. I was asleep pretty much all day until the pain killers wore off and I was in excruciating pain until the new pills kicked in. I am glad I don’t have anymore to pull. Now I wait until I see the Orthodontist to get my braces.

I cannot believe that I am 33 years old and have to get braces. I should have got them when I was 16 but of course we could not afford it at the time. Now that I can, I wish I couldn’t. I am worried that all of my friends are gonna call me metal mouth or brace face and I will get picked last for kickball or something. So tragic! LOL

Honestly, I am looking forward to fixing my smile and having healthier teeth. This is all apart of me getting my body and health in order. It is semi annoying but I know these things have to get done. I think I have the right attitude I just am glad I have this place to bitch a moan a little.

In pump news, I got a call from a Medtronic sales person who checked into my insurance. It looks as though they will cover my pump cost and supplies. Let’s hope that totally works out. I always get worried until I see a bill with nothing owed on it. I had blood drawn on Friday so I am also looking forward to seeing if my A1C has gone down any. It has to have. I mean, I was at 10 in December and a month before that I was at 12.5 so I am hoping to see something better then a 9. I can only hope but my BG has been so much better since November that I am abnormally hopeful.

I am usually the person that expects the worst so I am not let down. I guess that is some sort of defense mechanism but whatever it is, it has always worked for me. I guess all of these things going on in my life have made me much more optimistic about my diabetes and general health. You all will be the first to know when I find out what my A1C is.

FYI – My wife bought some Lifesaver Popsicles home that are sugar free and they are awesome! Thought you should know.

Signs

Sometimes we receive signs in life that I believe tell us we have made the right decisions and that we are on the correct path. Last night, I received many signs that I am on the right track in my life and that I am a very blessed man.

We arrived at the Hilton in Anaheim at 5:45 PM. I like to get to appointments a little early just to check things out and of course locate the restrooms. My wife had a pad of paper and pen ready to take notes. I had a virtual Q-tip in my ears preparing to take in everything I heard. I was a little concerned about the amount of people attending since the more people, the more uncomfortable I get. I do not like to ask questions when there is a room full of people.

I spotted the arrowed sign directing us to a room for the Medtronic classes. I felt my heart rate increase a little. I stepped in the room and saw 3 people sitting at a 10 foot conference table. Of course they were sitting closest to the door. Jasmine and I walked right up to the very front. I like to sit in front so I can ask questions and also so I won’t fall asleep LOL. I was very happy that the room was small and that it seemed only a few people would be attending.

That was the first sign.

The instructor was a very funny lady named Elaine who has been a diabetic since 1966. She has been on a pump for several years and is a registered nurse. I was hoping that the class would be upbeat and fun. It was! Elaine had me cracking up and I think the rest of the class too but I laugh really loud so who knows if they were digging it. I tend to get bored easily so was very happy that the class was informative and interesting.

This was the second sign.

We learned how to count carbs, treat a low correctly (not eating everything in the kitchen), and most importantly how carbs and all the other stuff in food works. It was great! I have been trying to figure out how much insulin I should take to offset the glucose. WOW How come I could not find a website explaining this to me! I am so glad I am here!!!

Another one.

After the carb counting class was done, Elaine passed out insulin pumps to all of the diabetics and luckily, there was one extra one that my wife grabbed so she could check it out. She spoke about all of the features of their pumps and talked extensively about the FDA approved pumps with the Constant Glucose Monitoring System on it. So sweet. She passed out infusion sets and bottles of saline. We were instructed on how to fill the reservoir, prime the pump, attach the infusion set, and get the pump all ready to go! It was very cool! Then she said, “Alright everyone, stand up!” Um…huh? You want me to put this thing on? I did not know “hands on” meant “needles in” training! I did not expect this!

I was not the only one with a little bit of fear on my face. Many of us looked at each other and joined together in a loud chorus of nervous laughter. “Well George, you want to wear a pump. You should just go for it,” the voice inside me said. “So very true” I replied, “thanks for the wise words. Now go away!” I stood up and was a little surprised my legs worked. I put the plunger on my side and squeezed the two buttons on each side. Click. That’s it? Wow! All of us D’ers looked at each other. Staring blankly a silent conversation of “That was no biggie” “I can’t even feel it” “why didn’t we do this years ago?” was passed between us.

Yet another!

I looked over and my wife was standing up. With her infusion set in hand she lifted her shirt and pressed the two white buttons on the side of the plunger. Snap! I shouted, “Check out my support! My wife is doing it too!” One lady said, “Oh my goodness, can I take her home with me!” I could not even say something cute for fear of spilling tears all over myself. I could not believe it. We sat there side by side, learning, listening, and wearing our pumps. It was the best feeling. My wife is doing something that I do not know that I would ever do. Without speaking I could hear her heart telling mine, “I love you so much that I want to understand as much as I can what you are going through.”

How could anyone miss this sign? I am so very blessed.

My First Endo Appointment

After passing the building and flipping a U-turn I pulled into a Hospital Parking lot that was packed. I found a spot in the neighboring county and made my way over the 7 story building. With my log in hand and my heart racing, I jumped in the first available lift and pressed the lucky number for a quick ride to the top floor.

When I entered room 702 I was excited to see a big poster about Insulin Pumping classes being offered by Medtronic, A bunch of leaflets and handouts about diabetes care in several languages and a vast array of diabetes health magazine sprawled out on the coffee table. I signed in and was quickly handed a clipboard full of forms I had to fill out. I always hate the fact that I have several “yes” answers on past medical issues. And the medical history section is also depressing. Having to list my father as deceased from a heart attack at age 43 always brings me down a little. But at least marking my children as both being in excellent health brightens me up a bit.

After paying my co-payment I get called almost immediately. The nurse was very nice and upbeat. She mistakenly set the large weight on the scale at 150. I could have leaned over and given her a kiss for that. I told her, “you gotta keep moving that one over” which produced a giggle and a wink from her. I felt my heart rate slow down a little. I like this place.

I sat in a room covered with many posters about diabetes complications. It would make even the most lax diabetic get there act together. Pictures of foot problems, retinopathy, neuropathy, and so many more that I just closed my eyes and said to myself, “That will not be me. That is why I am here.” I kept my eye on the Medtronic poster explaining the benefits of pumping. If this Endocrinologist says that I cannot get on a pump then I am out of here.

The doctor walked in with a smile and an outstretched arm awaiting a hand shake. He introduced himself and asked how I was doing. I told him that I was a Born Again Diabetic (chuckle) and that I was ready to get my act together, lower my A1C, and get on a pump. He agreed that I looked to be on the right track and that a pump would be extremely beneficial for me. SCORE!

He signed me and my wife up for a carb counting class and an introduction to pumping class at a local hotel on May 3rd. I will be sure and post what that is like. Both of these classes are put on my Medtronic. Boy, they must have some good sales people. They are everywhere! I have some lab work I have to get done. He changed my sliding scale of insulin and my dosage of Lantus at night. He also wants me to check my BG a few more times a day. These are all things I assumed would happen and I am very excited about it. He said that I seemed to be very focused and determined. My primary care physician told him that I went from an A1C of 12.5 to 10 in one month. That, he said, shows that I am getting into better control and moving in the right direction.

On a side note, the beginning of this rebirth truly started when I found out my A1C was so high. I have never posted it before because I was so embarrassed. But I figure that dropping 1.5 points in a month was a sign of doing something right and that I should celebrate that.

I have another appointment with him on the 17th of May to take another step in the “pump” direction. I can’t wait.