Yesterday I got a raise and a bonus.
And I am bummed.
WTF is wrong with me? My company loves me and gives me a very generous increase in salary and a very VERY sweet bonus for my past years efforts. My boss had very nice things to say to me and he was concerned about my health and even offered to change my hours if it would allow for exercise time in my life. He has seen me increase in girth but also quit smoking and he is very supportive. I am so lucky to work as such a great place.
But I am pissed off.
My bonus is not a bonus at all. It is only going to go to bill collectors that keep calling my house all hours of the day. We are in such a deep dark financial hole that this “bonus” money is only going to help us get out of that hole.
I guess that is a good thing and at times I see that it is BUT it is upsetting when your best efforts and extra work only gets you out of a hole. There is no reward which is what a bonus should be. I remember about this time last year I thought, “If I kick butt this year and get a sweet bones I am gonna hook up a CMGS and be a total BG Ninja!” but that is not going to happen.
I know I should count my blessings and especially after such a spiritual weekend but this goes to show you that I am not perfect. I am upset because I cannot splurge for once in my life when I should be able to. Well, I better get to kicking butt this year and see what next year has in store for me.
I need a Pop-tart or something to cheer me up.
As with all of the OC, Diabetes is a major part of my life. It is something that I cannot stop thinking about regardless of what I would like to do. I am a Diabetic. And it is one of the “I AM” statements I make with no fear.
I am also a Christian.
Most of you already know that. I hope you know that with that, I am NOT a “holier than thou” type. I have hang ups. I have issues. I swear sometimes. I get drunk occasionally. I am not even remotely close to being a “good” Christian but I know who gives me strength, who gives me guidance, who is always there for me, and who made sure that I would not end up in a really hot place once I leave this planet!
This weekend my wife, Sister, Mother, Best Friends, and more all worked a Via De Cristo weekend. What is Via De Cristo? It is Spanish for “Way of Christ” and it is a weekend that renews, reenergizes, and refreshes your faith. It is not a weekend for people that are not Christians; this is a strengthening weekend not an introduction.
When Jasmine and I were “pilgrims” we had such an amazing time that we come back each year to serve and pray for those that are attending. It is a lot of work but it is well worth the fatigue. It is funny how much pleasure you can get out of totally giving and serving your fellow human. It is a blessing that I cannot describe.
This weekend my Mother in Law and her husband attending the weekend as Pilgrims with another couple from our church. All four of them seemed to grow so much in their faith. It was a very beautiful thing to witness. To see someone get to know God on a more intimate level is a reward in itself. Especially when you remember your weekend and how it felt for you.
One man described it as “taking God from my head, and moving Him into my heart.”
A distance of about 18”.
A very short distance but a very important trip indeed.
I am going to be gone for a few days and when I get back I will be full of posts and stories to share with all y'all.
Maybe even a joke or three!
I Hope everyone has a great weekend.