Last weekend before I left for Indianapolis (more on that soon) was his senior prom. He went with a group of friends and his date is also just a friend.

The prom was held in Hollywood at the Plaza Hotel and he said he had a great time. I took a boat load of pictures like dads do.

The crazy thing is he got the tux rental for free. Well, not entirely for free but the guys at the tux shop asked him if he would spend a couple of hours helping check in tuxedos on Sunday afternoon in exchange for any style of tux he wanted to rent. He did this last year and they remembered him being a good worker.

The manager asked him to turn in an application so George may have scored a job too. w00t!

George has been in band since 6th grade when he played his first solo ever. Check it out.

His last band concert was last week and this is a solo he played during his Jazz Band performance.

He has come a long way. Now he plays drums, ukulele, bass guitar, lead guitar, piano, and anything else he can get his hands on. He has served as Drum Major of the marching band for the last two years and has truly shown his ability to lead by being his band directors right hand man.

Well, last night was his very last band banquet. It was awesome to see so many kids I remember from back at that 6th grade concert still part of the music program. I know I would have never made it through high school or my diabetes diagnosis without my band family. They really were my first community.

At the very end of the banquet the band director gives out 3 very prestigious awards for music. The highest honor is the John Philip Sousa Award. 

The John Philip Sousa Band Award is the pinnacle of achievement for high school band students. Created in 1955, the award honors the top student in a high-school band and recognizes superior musicianship and outstanding dedication. It was developed with the cooperation of Helen Sousa Albert and Priscilla Sousa, daughters of the famous composer and bandmaster.

I have always been proud of my son. Who he is, how he treats others, his compassion, his heart, his mind, his respect for others, his self esteem, and his integrity. All of who he is makes me proud.

But the level of pride I had last night as his band director called his name as the winner of this award increased beyond anything I thought I would feel.

Looking back at his love of music and his dedication to it was all awarded in that plaque. The Organ, Djembe, Guitar, Bass, Record Player, CD's, Cassettes, LP's, Amplifiers, Saxophone, music stand, harmonica, ukulele, drum set, baritone, flute, clarinet, iTunes, musicals, keyboard, DJ equipment, and accordion all helped.

Music has shaped my life since I was a kid. I am so thankful that tradition of music will continue with my kids. 

This makes me want to sing!

Diabetes is awesome! 

I mean think about it? You get to control what you body used to do AUTOMATICALLY?! I don't about you but the thought of letting my body do things on its own seems really scary and oh so lazy. If I could pump my own heart I totally would because I would be IN CONTROL and make SURE it was done right! So awesome.

Diabetes makes it easy to cook!

Since you have to stick an awesome needle in your finger every day, like SEVERAL TIMES A DAY, your fingers get so awesomely calloused to if you have to grab something out of a hot pan when you are cooking and maybe don't have tongs nearby, NO PROBLEM! You can just grab whatever you want because your calloused fingers don't feel the heat as much. AWESOME!

Diabetes makes you totally tech savvy!

You get to walk about with all these cool medical devices on you all the time! They read all the blood you get out of your fingers with one of these machines! Some people never get to see blood but you'll get to all the time! LUCKY RIGHT?! That's like being able to see the backstage at a concert. So cool.

If you have diabetes you get to meet lots of cool people!

You will so many new doctors and all the cool lab techs who will take your blood to test it for other stuff! Yeah, and you'll meet eye doctors, foot doctors, educators!!? I mean, you learn stuff. You can be smarter! Like a GENIUS!!! AWESOME!!!!!!!

Diabetes makes you feel rich!

When I am opening up my wallet all the time, paying for stuff, or using my credit card, it makes me feel so awesomely RICH! Like Beverly Hills rich! And when you have more bills you get more mail!! remember being a kid and being so excited to get mail? Well, diabetes helps you get even more! SO AWESOME!!

If could get diabetes again I totally would! DOUBLE DIABETES?!?! The thought makes me want to check my blood again. SO AWESOME!!!! 

So in closing you should know that diabetes is the best thing ever since Sea Monkeys and Nutella. Not together of course, but like separate. I mean, Nutella is good but if you threw a Sea Monkey in it I think I would gross out. Eww.

Well since a Pinky Ring that cures diabetes seems like a cop out I am gonna go with Carb Counting Glasses.

Imagine looking at a plate of food and inside your glasses a little number popped up to show you how many carbs were in it!?

Maybe the Pinky Ring thing is the way to go.

My outlook.

I try to be so positive about diabetes for others and every once and a while I seem to be positive about my own d-life but it never lasts. 

Sometimes it seems my life is just spent waiting around for diabetes to take it away or ruin it. Why would I ever let that happen? So many good things have changed in my life in direct opposition to diabetes and yet so much more has not. And I feel powerless.

This is one of those things that I know the answer to. I know what I should be saying, doing, thinking. But I try and it never sticks. I say to myself, "I know I am going to grow old and see my grandkids some day," but inside I don't believe it. 

Honestly. 

Maybe something will change and make me feel as though I have the upper hand. Maybe there is a corner I will turn that will change things. Who knows?

Is it so bad to believe you are not going to be around long? That may be the reason I want to spend so much time helping people and loving my family and friends.

This became much darker than I expected and for that I apologize. 

I have watched the cursor on my computer blink for about 5 minutes and I have no clue what to write? One thing good? I gots nothing.

GOT IT! 

One thing I am really good at is being open and honest about it. Sure it may not seem a big deal but I am will to explain it, share it all, and correct people if I hear stuff that is incorrrect.

"Are you sure you want to hear all this?" That is my typical response when people ask me what the difference is between type 1 and type 2. I would break out a white board if I had one handy.

Talking about your faults and mistakes can be difficult. I celebrate the fact that I am not there any more so sharing my past is something I am always willing to do. Especially if it will help someone who is new to the diabetes life feel less alone.

My guess is that since you are on this blog, you have probably been to other diabetes blogs and websites. One of the first sites I suggest to the newly diagnosed is dLife. They have lots of info on that site and lots of voices from people living with diabetes.

You may be familiar with the Blogabetes page too. Several members of the DOC write there which is cool because you can stop in and hear from many different people.

But I want to make sure you know one of them a little better. My good friend, Nicole.

Nicole was blogging before I started. In fact, her blog Curious Girl was one of the first D-Blogs I read. Her style, honesty, and humor was a perfect fit for me and reading about her diabetes life made me feel less alone.

I had the chance to meet her when she was in San Diego a few years ago and she was every bit as awesome and I would have imagined. We laughed for hours and tried on every silly hat we could find in a hat shop we stumbled into.

Oh yeah and we even recorded a vlog of our silly antics. FYI we were not drunk in the video. Just being silly.

Anyhow, I highly recommend keeping an eye on her blog. She is a great person, one of the original voices of the OC, and someone I am so thankful to call friend.

This show is cool because it is a tribute to Rogers and Hammerstien. I grew up watching these musicals and getting to perform several songs from each of them is awesome. 

If you happen to be in the Southern Califormia area and are looking for something to do this weekend, why not check it out! Sunday is Mothers Day so you could treat Mom to a show and dinner.

The other really cool thing is that it is also a Sing Along! A number of songs are well known and he audience will be invited to sing along with the performers! Should make for a fun experience!

Every year I tell myself that this is the year I am going to get my act together, lose weight, and start being really healthy! And by around March, every year, I feel I have failed and just give up.

After I did the Tour de Cure I felt really stupid. Like pulling that off was dumb luck. People who knew I did it would ask me how long it took me to finish and I would embarassingly tell them and feel like a schmuck. Constantly I find I am defending myself with how hard the hills were, that my blood sugar was over 400 at the beginning, and that it was not the distance or endurance but my muscles cramping that slowed me down but everyone just looks at me like I should have never even tried it. Like I am the fat ass I have always been and will always be. It's what I tell myseld all the time so it only valadates it. 

And here I was thinking that after I would want to be all gung ho and into riding all the time. After all the conversations I have had I have just wanted to just give up.

Then I saw this clip...

Several years back I was having a lot of trouble with my hands too. My left hand would fall asleep all the time and I ~ couldn't get anything done. I would wake up at night ~ and have to let my hand hang over the side of the bed to get the awful tingling to stop.

After a lot of painful testing it was discovered that I had ~ nerve damage and needed surgery. Carpal Tunnel surgery and a relocating of a nerve that ran around the outside of my elbow to the inside made ~ it all better. 

At the time my doctor said that we should try one arm first and then decide if it made sense to do the other. Since my left was worse and I am right handed, it made a lot of sense. ~ 

It worked! After a long healing process I was good to go as far as my hands were concerned. I changed jobs, doctors, insurance, and totally let it go. ~

But now it's my right hand. It hurts a lot. It falls asleep on me all the time and I have to stop what I am typing and let my hand hang down to the groud. That way I start to feel like it is coming back from ~ dozing off to sleep.

I have tried to work through it but is soon starts feeling like everything I touch is stabbing me. There is no way for me to deal through it, I have to stop and let my hand ~ wake up.

Today I see my doctor for a follow up and am going to start the process again. I need to get this taken care of and my legs are getting worse too. My feet feel like they are giant (which is saying a lot since my feet are already big) ~ and a few times during the ride I had to look down to see how my feet were positioned on my pedals. It's an awful feeling.

The thing is there is hope. Drugs, advancements, suppliments, and all kinds of other stuff is out there to help us with DPN. ~ I highly recommend this article written by my good friend Wil over at dLife. In fact he mentioned a story of mine that I would rather not revisit here but I think it is eye opening. ~ 

The thing is, we need to learn about this complication but I am not going to research ~ it online because I cannot handle the awful images that come up. 

Anyhow, I am going to be trying something new to help maybe before or instead of ~ surgery. I will know more this afternoon after my appointment with doctor Awesome.

By the way, you may have been wondering what all those "tildes (~)" are doing ~ in this post. Each one represents the moments when my right hand dozed off and I had to stop, let my arm hang down, and wake back up.

It is an awful ~ way to have to live and a constant reminder that I live with a chronic illess.

Plus, I would much rathing be dozing like ~ Casey, and not having my hand dozing off all the time.